Note to Readers: Some facts have not been corroborated in the following article. Excessive caffeine may have impaired the author's normally scrupulous journalistic standards.

“I have had it with this ungrateful lot.  If you want the job, it is yours”.  With those words Tino Cassio passed the St. John soccer potentate position to 57 year old Mike Bruckwick.  I took time away from my kids to sit down for an afternoon of cappuccinos and a talk about soccer and life with Coach Bruckwick.

“Soccer has always been a part of my family’s life.  When I was growing up in the early sixties, we, like most American families, would get together for Thanksgiving.  After dinner we would all gather in front of the TV for the traditional Wichita Harvesters vs. Duluth Tundra soccer match.  The crowds at the stadium would sometimes number in the dozens.  I still get choked up when I think of the pageantry associated with those events. 

This made the 1972 “Tight Shorts Scandal”, which rocked the sport, personally devastating to me. When it initially came out in the press that certain soccer players were illegally wearing overly tight shorts to boost their on field speed, I thought it was just a few bad apples.  However, when Jan Olemoskowski, the star Belorussian striker, admitted he was tightening too, I nearly gave up my soccer ball for a bowling ball.  The one thing that saved me was a personal call from Johan Cruyff of the Washington Diplomats.  I couldn’t understand what he said because he only spoke Dutch, but needless to say this is how I became the Diplomats mascot, “Dip”, for the next ten years.

As for CYO next year, I have come up with a novel approach to revolutionize the game.  The building blocks of a powerhouse are in place: Great players, dedicated coaches, and enlightened leadership from the CYO Board. We just needed a new strategy to put us over the top.  And after looking at hours of game film I have come up with it.  I notice that both our team and the other teams spend too much time kicking the ball around.  If our players would learn to pick the ball up with their hands and throw it in the goal, I do not see how we can be stopped.  This plan will be instituted during spring practice with the goal of all of our teams being undefeated in Fall 2008.

By the way, who is picking up the tab for the $10 coffees?”

Even though he fell for the “I left my wallet at home” gambit from the interviewer, I am confident that Mike will build on the strong soccer tradition at St. John and lead us over the bridge to the 22nd century.